Birthday Blues
Birthday blues, it's a real thing. Just in case you've never heard of it, it's a phenomenon when your birthday comes up and you're filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness and overwhelming dread. You are a year older, you've spend times with heartaches, advancing in your studies, maybe growing out your clothes, and losing loved ones, friends. You are now... A new age.
It would make sense for anyone to be sad. It's a change, it's the first time you're your new age and the last time and all those feelings fill you and you are trying to grasp where all the time went. For me I am having birthday blues. Not because friends didn't text me, not because of loneliness but because a special family member passed three days before my birthday. It hurts, a gift of life and excitement has quickly vanished within a second I was told about their passing. Did anyone wish you happy birthday? Family? Friends? If not how did that make you feel? If so, how did that make you feel? Within your days on this planet there will be times when those you love aren't there, there will be friends who forget and there will be Times you plan a better birthday for others who won't do the same for you.
Reflections
But in those moments as you reflect over your life, I want you to know that you should stop celebrating your birthday for others. Yes. That is what most of you are doing. Unfortunately when doing so, you're opening the door to a certain expectation from others. Don't buy cake for friends who are too busy to show up, but buy it for yourself. If people do not come through for you on your day, come through for yourself. I know it's hard but it's time for us all to think very differently about our birthdays. When I was 11 I used to have the best birthdays. My best friend at that time found birthdays to be very important, and similar to me, being a crazed fashion lover, skater and makeup guru, she painted my face in makeup, invited two of her close friends to celebrate with us, and we went through her wardrobe to play dress up. That whole day we walked around with a shy version of me and an extroverted girl (my bestie) shouting it's my birthday to every passerby. It was great, simple, homemade presents, lots of laughter and being outside with friends. What I didn't know at that time is that was in celebration of me, and my friend made me feel seen and loved and her friends joined in even though we barely knew each other. I say all of this to say, make yourself feel loved. What is it you'd want done on your birthday that you can give to yourself?
You are Loved
If you do have friends and loved ones who you'd like to celebrate with, do it with them! If you do and they aren't as responsive to what you want to do (money issues, busy etc.) do a small celebration with them after your birthday. It's time for you to focus on YOU first. Do not wait for others to do what you can do for yourself. Trust me, your relationship with you will thank you. Cater to your wants and needs and communicate this, if people cannot meet those needs then, it's time to reflect. Overall, the reasons to not want to celebrate your birthday can be a long one. I can't say why each of you would either to or not but it's usually rooted in our fears. The fears of getting older, the fears that you haven't completed all that you would have liked by the age you're turning, or maybe the attention is too much. What matters is that you're open to receiving love. Whatever you spend it alone, celebrate it by yourself, or don't celebrate at all, know that the love you deserve is in you. Spending time to reflect on the relationship you've had with yourself is also important, because you matter and you're here for a reason. It takes a lot of courage to receive love and usually our birthdays are in celebration of our existence. It makes sense why it's so Important to many people.
Acceptance
Many people have lost their lives at very tender ages. We should celebrate each step of our lives. What I know is it is important to value your growth. Coming into age also equals another day that you are one step closer to who you are becoming. It will be hard, but treasure these moments, value your twenties, be open to being older, and watch how the world will open up for you. Aging is a privilege that some do not have the benefit to experience due to a number of circumstances. You are alive, so celebrate that. You are here, you matter, you are loved. Its time for you to show that to yourself too You deserve that. Happy Birthday.
Whether you hate your birthday, feel neutral about it or love it here's some things you can do for fun regardless:
- Make a fun playlist
- Journal
- Workout in the morning
- Dress up!!!
- Take the day off
List credited to Tiktoker Caybabe_
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