Grounding

"Breathe in and out." This was my common narrative, days when I feel overwhelmed I have gotten into a rhyme of breathing in order to ground myself. The next step would be to root myself in the earth, to breathe out door air instead of the musty aroma of the old campus buildings I reside in. This is a practice I offer my friends, when they are too overwhelmed to think anymore. As children, have you ever been held when you fell of the slides, or soothed when you were crying over the 'little' things. If not, you probably weren't taught emotional regulation. Emotional regulation according to Psychology Today is, "the ability to exert control over one’s own emotional state. It may involve behaviors such as rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm." It helps us with a varying degree of emotions we may encounter throughout the day. Has someone ever asked you, "How are you feeling?" or "What are you feeling right now," and you weren't entirely sure because of the insenity of your emotions? That may be caused by being disconnected from your body and feeling complexities of overwhelm. The tools emotional regulation gives us, is ones to ground ourselves, and name each emotion when it comes up. 

Our Disconnect

Dissociation is all too familiar within the grand scheme of things, often times things become too much and apart of us shuts down and grows overwhelmed by the various stressors in our lives. But in order to bring our mind back to our body, we can do a few things. One is to mediate, I understand, through the overwhelming whirlwind of the life we are living it is hardly possible to lean into peace and quiet but I guarantee you, this is help when you practice the art of mediation. It takes time to build up the momentum, but mediating just a few minutes a day can significantly help with a worrying mind. Second, would be journaling, the most easiest (in my opinion), I have many friends tell me journaling has been so helpful for them to sort out their feelings. Depending on what emotion you are feeling, whatever thought that comes up or whatever had occurred you can write out how your feeling. Think of it as venting to the pages in your journal. Third, speaking directly to those emotions. When someone is being bullied, it occurs in a verbal sense when someone is constantly picking on the other individual, belittling them, putting them down, then feelings of shame, and sadness and maybe even anger comes up with the person being bullied. That is how I think of unfortunate occurrences that may happen to us, and how it leaves us feeling. As a child, our parents or guardians were the ones (I would hope) would have soothed those anxieties, and talked us through it. Just like they should have or would have, focus on doing that to yourself as an adult. Speak to each of those feelings and feel it. When you feel it, the easier it is to let it go. 

Emotional connection with yourself can be achievable, but very uncomfortable at first. It helps to speak with a loved one, a friend, or even go therapy in order to get grounded in yourself. With the fast pace world we live in, it is becoming easier to forget ourselves. So, I am here to remind you, do not forget you. Feel those feelings of frustration, of anger, of sadness, of pain, and allow yourself to release it when you are ready. It is a process that has many layers and each practice in emotional regulation can be different for everyone. I have named a few ways to approach it but choose what works for you, and what you are most comfortable with. As adults, some of us were not lucky to have safe spaces as a child, but I am telling you right now, you can start now. Create those safe spaces for yourself, and I promise, you will see a big difference.